sigh. so, I need to tell you something. This is kind of personal in the half-joking-but-not-really kind of way.
I’m 75% certain that I have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), inattentive type. According to the DSM-V, maybe I don’t actually have anything at all. But, nothing is more awkward than self-diagnosis when it’s kind of legit. I mean, I’m kind of qualified to do this as part of my job. I see kids with ADHD every day. I’ve gone to countless inservices and talks on ADHD. I am totally that kid with “time-blindness” (Barkley, 1997), who can’t grasp the concept that 10 minutes feels like 10 minutes, not 5 or 50. My oh-so-patient husband likes to train my brain a bit by asking me to guesstimate how long I’ve been on Pinterest before bed, or how long I’ve been procrastinating writing a report. I’m completely wrong with my guesstimates 100% of the time. We’re often late to things because I can’t function without a timer on my phone. I use interventions that I often prescribe to my middle schoolers… with myself.
So, what’s all this talk of my supposed ADHD? Why on earth am I oversharing??
The literature on ADHD also notes how executive functioning (i.e., planning, self-monitoring, and organizational skills, among frontal lobe-heavy functions) is impaired in people with attention concerns. Executive functioning issues include things like having difficulty planning and organizing thoughts and ideas, and often starting a task (or 12) and having trouble following through with those tasks. So, this is why I write everything down in my planner, or else I end up missing and completely forgetting about meetings. This is also what brings me to my blog post. I always mean to blog weekly, if not more frequently. But, often times I just don’t do it. And then one missed week turns into five. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to not post; I just get sidetracked and don’t prioritize the way that I ought to. At work, I’m constantly needing to re-prioritize my schedule when certain things happen—like when a teacher walks into my office during his/her plan time, or I get a phone call from a doctor or a parent. Meetings get scheduled last-minute, and I *have* to be flexible. Sometimes I end the day with only two things crossed off my To Do list, and four more added on. I’ve had to learn to be okay with that. Now that I’ve learned to do that, I’m afraid I also operate like that in my personal life. Even when my intention is set, I have a hard time following through with that intention. I allow other unplanned, last-minute things to take priority because I think it’s more important, or I think I can start more than two tasks at the same time, and then I realize I’m awful at juggling. It’s interesting that one trait I value about myself at work is a trait that is cringe-worthy to myself and others, outside of work. It’s also ironic that this learned skill I adapted at work is also something that I equate to characteristics of ADHD.
I hope this makes sense. I hope you accept my apology. I hope I accept my apology. Whenever I’m feeling sad, a cake cheers me up. Maybe this Crack Pie will help us out. It’s the infamous Momofuku Milk Bar’s recipe, adapted by the LA Times. It makes TWO 10-inch crack pies. Why wouldn’t you make two? Seriously… you’ll regret not doing so!
Ingredients for the Cookie Crust (it’s oatmeal-y and yummy!)
2/3 Cup (C) plus 1 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1/8 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt + pinch of salt set aside for later
1/2 C softened butter +1/4 C butter set aside for later
1/3 C light brown sugar + 2 Tbsp set aside for later
3 Tbsp sugar
1 C old-fashioned rolled oats
How to make the Cookie Crust
1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter, brown sugar and sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Whisk the egg into the butter mixture until mixed well.
5. With the mixer running, beat in the flour mixture, a little at a time, until fully combined. Stir in the oats until incorporated.
6. Spread the mixture onto a 9-inch-by-13-inch baking sheet and bake until golden brown and set, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and cool to the touch on a rack. Crumble the cooled cookie to use in the crust.
7. Grab the salt, brown sugar, and butter you set aside. Combine the crumbled cookie, butter, brown sugar and salt in a food processor and pulse until evenly combined and blended. Divide the crust between 2 (10-inch) pie pans. Press the crust into each pan to make a thin, even layer along the bottom and sides of the pans (this is your crust!). Set the prepared crusts aside while you prepare the filling.
Ingredients for the Crack filling
1 1/2 C sugar
3/4 C + 3 Tbsp light brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 C + 1 tsp milk powder (I just substituted milk and it was fine)
1 C butter, melted
3/4 C + 2 Tbsp heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
8 egg yolks
2 prepared crusts
Powdered sugar for garnish
How to make the Crack filling
1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, brown sugar, salt and milk powder (if using regular milk, whisk it in). Whisk in the melted butter, then whisk in the heavy cream and vanilla.
3. Gently whisk in the egg yolks, being careful not to add too much air.
4. Divide the filling evenly between the 2 prepared pie shells.
5. Bake the pies, one at a time, for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to 325 degrees F and bake until the filling is slightly jiggly and golden brown, about 10 minutes. Remove the pies and cool on a rack.
6. Refrigerate the cooled pies until chilled.
7. Serve pies cold (filling will be gooey). Dust with powdered sugar before serving.